bill (beginning only)
(first 1000 words presented here: full story in submission process)
by East Huxley
Bill took a shit on the republican's head. Then he took a piss on the democrat's head. He said ‘You too are equal in your asshole shitheadness, but you're not equal in being in your explicitness.'
Bill said ‘Okay, democrats. You're doing a little okay. But you need to do more faster.’ Then he shat again on the republicans head.
Bill caught the guy with no muffler. The guy thought he was being a cute rebel. Bill welded the muffler up the guy's ass and throttled it.
Bill had the cop by his teeth. He dragged the cop to the fountain. The cop said ‘all lives matter.’ Bill said 'Fuck you.’
The republican said ‘Liberals are evil. They eat pizza with a fork and knife.' Bill poked him in the eye. The democrat said ‘I eat pizza just like the next guy.' Bill then poked him in the eye.
Bill said ‘You think liberals are evil. You think so? So be it.'
The republican said ‘The capital riots were organized by Nancy and the leftists.’ Bill put a chopstick in his ear.
Bill took the republican and democrat hands and out them off.
Bill said ‘I'll destroy all you stupid people. I know most of you are a republicans. I'Il kill the democrats too, obviously. But …’
The democratic party was doing some things which didn't anger Bill. He suspected though that they were just making small appeasements because they knew the tide would turn.
Bill said ‘You fucking voted for Hillary in the primary? You fucking idiot. You don't remember her getting that money for goldman sachs speech and that time they shot sound guns so people reporters couldn't hear what they said at fundraisers. You fucking idiot.’
Bill shook his fist at the democrats and Israel.
It warmed Bill to see the GOP fighting and splintering. The democrats had long ago been weakened by that.
Bill watched the news on his phone and threw it at the bartender's head who said ‘You're cut off.’ Bill didn't need much alcohol any longer and could nurse a beer for days and maintain his buzz.
Bill turned back and forth not angry at everything. But he did have an order to his anger and started there. He choked the republican first then the democrat.
Bill debated running for office.
Bill saw war and death and stupidity on tv daily.
Bill saluted the flag then gave the nationalists the middle finger.
Bill was not happy with the political climate. Everyone was divided and it seemed rightfully so.
Bill said ‘Stupidity is a clinging swamp of mud that will hold onto you and pull you down.’
Bill met Paulie met Freddie met Jim.
Bill said 'Hi.’
Bill had a beer. Jim and Freddie had a coffee. Paulie put some cologne on.
Bill flipped the channel. Freddy said 'Weenie liberal.’ Jim said ‘Conservatives are friendlier.’ Bill said ‘You can't get any dumber than a republican. And you're an asshole to boot.’ Paulie said 'Who gets the ladies?’
Freddie said ‘Orange almighty is going to get reinstated.' Bill said ‘Now, even I wish I had a gun.'
Bill sat up next to the bikers. They were irish but that didn't mean the same thing in america.
Bill saw several people a day he didn't trust and most he didn't like. He generally liked people he trusted. Many of those he felt sorry for, like himself.
Bill was so mad at the world and madder because he couldn't express it.
Bill was depressed. The democrats always just lose even when they win. And republicans still win even when they lose.
'The problem with democrats, is some of them are republicans.'
'That senator from west virginia, he needs to be replaced. Runs like a democrat, acts like a republican.’
'Our politics is failing the people. People are waking but getting corrupted politicians out is too slow.' Bill said ‘You know what I mean?’ His neck was already crooked. Maybe from the strokes, but it looked fused together.
Bill decided his drunken intuition wasn't going to be a convincing argument. So he decided to buy a newspaper on the way to the bar.
Bill said ‘Republicans are either stupid or assholes, probably both. And democrats could practice at being assholes.’
Bill said ‘Wait a minute. This sounds like bullshit. ‘Ballot harvesting?’’ He looked for something to do. The bartender put a glass in front of him. Bill drank it 'Fucking dweebs, so juvenile.’
Bill looked to the future to remember.
Bill said ‘You meet all sorts. But after the orange anus, you no longer care to meet all sorts.' He was talking to a very sorted person at the bar. The guy looked at him with whale eyes and said ‘I'll kill every one of them, the orange anuses and the libs.'
Bill called him 'My suicidal friend who won't die.’ Bill predicted ‘If he doesn't die, others will.'
Bill bought the guy a drink for every orange anus he bragged to kill.
Bill got so drunk he was shouting. But the guy was shouting back 'I really did kill him. He was talking about snowflakes, so I killed him.’
Bill stood over the dead body. He was sick but said 'There's one less , right?' The guy with the bloody axes said ‘Yes.’ (?now - hmm - too literal)
Bill said ‘This is not good. You can't kill all the stupid people.’
Bill registered to vote and signed a relief. He looked out the window and wondered who would know, who could find out.
Bill said 'Damn democrats.’ Paulie said ‘Yeah, damn democrats.’ Bill looked at Paulie and said ‘Fuck the republicans.’
Bill, Paulie, Freddy and Jim walk into a bar. Jim and Freddy chat about how they can't drink and all the fucked up things they did while drinking. Bill orders a beer. Paulie says 'Where the ladies?’
Bill said ‘Fucking losers and their noise. The louder the noise the stupider they are.'
Bill said ‘Dumb shits will give all their money to be in a police state.'
Bob said 'You were too drunk. ' Paulie said ‘If you want to come back anytime.’ Ed said 'I just don't want to see you get sick.’ Freddie said ‘Ha ha’ and looking to Jim ‘Is he a winner?’ Jim Said ‘ ’.
Bill said ‘I'm going to continue drinking. I'll just slow down.’ His friend said ‘You've been (?now: drinking or at) that beer for hours and I'm not sure if I can see a dent.' Bill made eye contact and smiled. (?now - remove period and new line character) ‘If you get yourself properly pickled, you don't have to add that much to a keep it going.'
Bill said ‘We have to fight so the morons don't take over the country.'
Bill had a next to permanent level of alcohol in his body. He slowed down the intake and the level so he didn't stumble so much. After three, maybe four strokes, he was fragile. The bartender said ‘Bill, you'll never make it. The water is super freezing.’ Bill said ‘Isn't there a little boat we could get on? Or a ramp? No emergency crew been on or off?’ The bartender said ‘We're quarantined.’
Bill said ‘Young people are so loud.’
Bill looked at his watch for almost no reason. Maybe he was clocking how fast he was drinking. Maybe he was thinking about wine and a television show. He took a tiny sip of his beer.
Bill said ‘Fuck you democrat.’ A republican said ‘Yeah.’ Bill said ‘Triple fuck you republican. I shouldn't even talk to you. you’re such a moron, liar, dumbass.’
Bill turned off the tv. He poured some more wine. It was cold. It was thanksgiving. Bill didn't go out. Every of death (?now - ???), not afraid of life. It would come. Maybe not today.
There's a cat hidden under the furniture. Probably the couch. It never revealed itself to visitors and not often to Bill. Taking from it's litter, it had a job to catch cats and mice.
Lots of paper, lots of books. The apartment had a darkness to it. No windows at all on two full sides which went into the foundation of two buildings. Another side had partial windows curtained over that looked out at the feet and knees of those entering the building proper. But it was anything but a basement apartment for you had to climb up to get to it from the street. Maybe the building was a small mountain itself in the shade of the large hudson bridge. There were paid residents on suicide water. Not looking themselves but always waiting for the phone call to hurry up and get to a spot on the bridge like the middle mile and a half maybe more. A long walk to get to some one thinking about jumping or maybe they were allowed to park in middle of the highway. But they waited and eventually thought about suicide themselves in the gloom of the bridge and interstate. Otherwise, it was a lovely view if you ignored the other highway and (?now - looked) out at the hudson and palisades. Civil engineering has driven people to want to die, sometimes, maybe often.
Bill cursed the tv. He cursed the republicans. He cursed the democrats but way less.
Bill had three strokes, maybe a fourth. He planned lots of outings. The cruise was his last.
Bill got trapped on a ship with lots of young people. I imagine (?now - the I?) he found them very noisy. Bill liked hanging out in bars but hated noise. It must have been all the previous bar outings that turned his tinnitus into a full head eardrum ‘I couldn't get off the boat! That's when coronavirus hit. It was hell.’
Bill asked the bartender to turn down the music. The bartender said ‘This is a cruise boat, what can i do?’ Bill liked the action though, but not many talked to him, but that's not why he called them ‘Dingbats .
Bill nursed his beer until it was flat and very unappetizing. That was his way of watching what he drank. Then he would pull out a pocket full of articles cut out underlined folded.
Bill tucked his walker in front of the next stool. The bar would get packed but nobody would say anything.
Bill looked out over the dock from the deck. There was some discussion of not letting them off. Bill looked down at the water. He couldn’t walk that well but guessed at this point he could swim as well as he could walk ‘I just want to get off this god damn boat!’ He wasn't talking to anyone but a few turned trying to decipher what he said with his raspy voice ‘Nightmare!’
They weren't giving out free alcohol. Bill said ‘Stuck on this god damn boat and we have to pay full price for alcohol! This is madness!’ The bartender looked at Bill without expression. But then he went into the back room, came out and announced ‘Happy hour prices.’ Bill smiled ‘There you go!’ The bartender poured Bill another beer ‘Let me get this one for you.’ Bill said ‘That's a pal.’ The bartender said ‘We might be here for days.’ Bill said ‘Days!‘ The bartender said ‘Quarantined.’ Bill Said ‘Holy Toledo! Days.’
The bartender said ‘There's some talk about guests and staff having to stay in their rooms unless necessary.’ Bill said ‘That would be terrible.’